Some people are well aware of their own heart’s desires; some are not. When I begin to work with clients, I often believe more in their magnificence than they do, so I hold a space for them to step into their magnificence.

My meaning of the phrase “heart’s desires” is the accumulation of all the preferences and joys related to a specific subject. For example, there are heart’s desires for subjects such as living space, job or career, partnership, adventure, freedom, etc. I intentionally use the plural (desires) because there are always different aspects of any subject with corresponding desires.

Some clients try to convince me how bad or difficult a particular situation is, which is the opposite of being joyous. When they argue for their non-magnificence, I interrupt that pattern as quickly as possible to redirect them to their heart’s desires. If I begin to believe in their non-magnificence, then I can’t offer a helping hand or a different point of view. We both win only when I focus more on their magnificence and the true desire for joy.

In most cases, my greatest values to clients are that I believe in them and that I have a different perspective from most of those around them. The clients who utilize my skills the most effectively are the ones who ask me what I see from my vantage point. To acknowledge what they see can be empowering, especially if I express what I see in ways that are empowering. However, I don’t join them in energizing a disempowering perspective. Instead, I use my ability to see what they see and then re-frame the idea so that it’s more empowering or so that they know how to move from where they are to where they want to be.

I’m not at all invested in making my clients agree with me. I’m quite satisfied to offer a perspective that they can consider, question, or even doubt or reject. It’s very common that clients resist or disagree with a perspective when I first offer it and then minutes, weeks, or months later say that they now understand. Many times clients consider what I say and then use my suggestion to reach yet another perspective or solution. It’s a synergistic process. I’m far more invested in helping clients find their power from within themselves than agreeing with me. I point them to the answers inside themselves rather than trying to prove my point of view.

If a client were to argue strongly with me, that would not be healthy for the client or for the relationship. Some people are accustomed to argue. I find, generally, that people who like to argue are usually arguing for their limitations (not for their magnificence or joy), and so they keep themselves stuck in the very patterns they desire in their hearts to change. If they believed in their magnificence, of course, they would not be arguing with me.

Since I consider that clients hire me to help them to move out of disempowering situations or conditions, arguing about the reasons they are in their unhappy conditions is unproductive or counterproductive. Vehement arguing puts them deeper into the very situation that is the opposite of their hearts’ desires. And, quite frankly, it can erode my natural inclination to hold in my consciousness the desires my clients hold in their hearts.

I consider it is my job as a coach and consultant to recognize where a client is now and where he or she wants to be. I am a witness in the journey towards the heart’s desires. I hold a space to step into magnificence.

You might enjoy reading “Moving through Puddles,” Your “Say Goodbye to Struggle,” and “Your Focus of Attention is Your Key to Happiness.”

Jeanie Marshall, Personal Development Consultant with Marshall House. Jeanie produces Guided Meditations on CD albums and MP3 downloads and writes extensively on subjects related to personal development and empowerment. She assists professional coaches and consultants to write their knowledge, wisdom, and experiences at http://www.WritingByCoaches.com